Prager is right, in general....

 When a Woman Isn't In the Mood Part 1

When a Woman Isn't In the Mood Part 2

First off, I know Prager's ghosts:  divorced and is tolerant of porn.   Do I like it?  No, but no one is perfect.

I am aware that many people, especially women, hate this article.  It would be awesome if husbands and wives were either perpetually horny, or not, all of the time.  One less piece of bullshit between the sexes.  Not gonna happen though. 

Prager isn't advocating that the husband has the right to rape his wife when she refuses him.  All he is saying is that wives should put out more and not use their moods to dictate whether sex happens or not.  Husbands, at the same time, must provide enough foreplay for the wife to get something out of the sexual encounter.  Also, the husband must provide a positive marriage atmosphere in general where it is possible for her to do so.  By doing so, he is demonstrating that he loves his wife, will do the hard work to earn sexual access, and isn't just using her for sex.

Prager even lists reasons, like I have in a previous entry, why wives should put out.  I would never agree to women becoming sexually like men.  However, wives should use their sexual power (a power that few men have over women) to obtain what they desire most from their husbands and their marriages:  romance, love, respect, physical protection, and financial security. 

Now, here is where Prager is dead wrong:  confusing love with sex.  Sex Is Not Love!  Sex is a physical and hormonal joining of (hopefully) husbands and wives.  The act of a wife putting out when she really isn't in the mood for it can be love, but the act itself isn't. 

Let's Get Practical ....

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Billy Crystal

It's true for the most part. Sexual hormonally, females drew the short stick. Females have a hard time having sex for shits and giggles, like males can. Testosterone, the sex hormone, is found in very small amounts in women.  Short straw indeed.

Wives should consider the following practical reasons to have sex with their husbands:

1) Sexed up husbands are more likely to do what is asked of them in a shorter period of time without wives having to go up their husbands asses about it. Leaking faucet? Fixed. Squealing brakes? Fixed. Plywood over windows before a hurricane (without the wife having to lift a finger)? Yep.

2) Sexed up husbands are less likely to screw around on you and bring home STDs and outside pregnancies. Note, if a husband is dead set on cheating on you, he will. I'm sorry to say that I don't know the magic number of times a week to have sex in order to prevent 100% of infidelity.

3)  Sexed up husbands bring home higher paychecks than sexually deprived husbands. The benefits of this are obvious.

4)  Sexed up husbands are more likely to take their wives out and do things that their wives want to do.

5)  Sexed up husbands will buy their wives gifts more often.

6)  Sexed up husbands are less likely to nag their wives for sex.

7)  Sexed up husbands tend to be more romantic.  Bear mind, however, husbands exchange romance for sex.  Using the same parallel, wives exchange sex for romance.  

I understand that for  low sex drive women, sex is not a high personal priority.  That is not a reason to not perform the marital duty that husbands crave the most.  I am not suggesting that we lie to ourselves and pretend to be something that we are not.  Find reasons!!!!  There is nothing wrong with that.  At the end of the day, as long as everyone does what he or she is supposed to do, the whys don't matter.

Sex is NOT Love

Let's make love. I want to make love to you. We made love last night. Blah, blah, blah......

This confusion makes my blood boil. This confusion often leads to women making some of the dumbest decisions of their lives. I am talking about confusing sex with love and love with sex.

Sex is purely a physical act, especially for males. Males compartmentalize almost everything in their minds. Work is in this part of the mind. Sports, over there. Sex, here. Love, WAAAYYY over there. This is why your typical male can absolutely loathe a woman but still want to screw her brains out. Furthermore, males don't experience immediate consequences of the sex act. They can't get pregnant. So males can afford to be sexually indiscriminate. Males don't even need a reason to have sex. Just a place and a compliant female.

The typical female, on the other hand, have a much harder time with separating sex and love. Oxytocin, the bonding hormone, is almost exclusively produced by females during and after the sex act.

Sex can be had without love. Sex is a romance killer when it takes place outside of marriage for women. Hell, it can even kill romance inside of marriage.

Love is something totally different. Love is something that many times is harder to demonstrate. It's doing things that you may not do otherwise. The husband getting up to go to work, especially on the weekend. The wife putting out when she doesn't feel like it(it's not the sex that's love, it's the putting out when she doesn't feel like it that is, among other reasons....).